Contrary to many films of the festive nature, Santa usually sucks at gift-giving.
It happens to the best of us on Christmas. Somebody doesn't do their research, buys a last minute gift and – what do you know? You don't want it in your sight. In fact, you dislike the gift so much you un-friend them on MySpace.
Don't fret! The solution is here.
We'll help you open the doors to kindness and sharing this holiday season with a guide to politely rejecting those really bad gifts on Christmas – without the tension, domestic violence, and getting your car window smashed with a brick.
1. Be caring, patient and slow. Pretend like you're speaking to a person who got held back in third grade a few times.
"I know you a long time, Your Friends Name, and I appreciate this gift very much. However, I'm only going to use this watch when I go swimming when there'll be a lesser chance of me smashing it – you know how clumsy I am (laugh naturally) "and give them a light hug.
2. Make eye-contact while saying "Thank you!" a lot followed by their first name
Another easy way to politely reject a Christmas gift is to say: "I love the thought you put into this, Your Friends Name. I'm going to put this into my safe – and treasure it every time I open it. Thank you. "
"Wow, a toaster is all I ever wanted for Christmas (Long pause). Will you please hold onto it for when I buy some bread? I really want that moment to be special. Thank you, Your Friends Name."
"You're so cute. It's not even weird that you got me a bra for Christmas, dad. I'm going to wear it at my wedding, after I graduate from elementary school."
Easy GIFT REJECTION Tips:
* Use a softer-than-usual voice and smile a lot – don't over do it though!
* Say "Christmas is so relaxing, and peaceful" often to remind them that it isn't appropriate to choke a family member or friend.
* Cheering for others' gift-unwrapping is an easy and pro tactic to avoid the need to reject a gift altogether! Try it out!
* Pro Tactic: Give them your gift immediately, while they are opening theirs, pass their gift to a trusted relative who will dispose of it with discretion (Skip Step # 3 ONLY if you're a pro)
3. Place the gift in clear view if it is small, showing you aren't going to throw it away until after Christmas day.
This is important. If you skip this step, there's a chance they'll catch the scent of betrayal. Santas are very, very temperamental. Place the gift in the open to show how much you care about their feelings.
If you have been compromised, or called-out, just pretend you're secretly in love with it … put it on if it's clothing, and casually parade around until you see them notice this obvious display of satisfaction. Then you can discard it, as it's no longer a hot topic.
Re-cap: Be caring. Second, say "Thank you" and their name. Third, place the gift in the open, or wear it. All these serve to give you the best Christmas experience without the bloodshed over an unwanted gift, or the improperly worded rejection of a gift.
If you complete these steps, you'll have a great Christmas. If you don't decide to follow these steps, come back to this page next year. We'll be right here … To tell you "we told you so".
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